jumpingjacktrash:

ramshacklefey:

jumpingjacktrash:

thecreaturecodex:

martyslittleusedblog:

shadesofmauve:

shadesofmauve:

So D&D black dragons are supposed to live in swamps, right? Pretty amphibious, live in swamps, lair in…

caves. With a main entrance and a back entrance.

In swamps.

I really have trouble with the idea that there’s these dragon-sized caves in an area with such a high water table, y'know? We have to go through miles of swamp to reach this lair, it’s not one little boggy place in a mountain valley otherwise filled with nice caves. And the cave has to have two entrances, too? I can believe in dragons, but not this geology.

So… maybe it’s not geology. Because a lair in a marshy place with exacting design specifications sounds a lot like a totally natural thing –

A beaver lodge.

So now I have this new image of black dragons industriously gnawing down giant trees to construct their mighty swamp lairs, and I am so much happier.

He’s building his lodge.

To anyone worried about this eliminating the fear factor, don’t worry; instead, imagine a lair full of sharp spikes formed from logs. Imagine previous, less fortunate treasure-hunters, dragonslayers, etc. being impaled on those spikes for your party to see.

That’s brilliant! I’d done a dragon with shrike behavior in my game before, but it was a red dragon. I had the wrong species. We do know that black dragons like to let their food decompose a bit before tucking in. So they put in on a meat hook for a while.

i figured they were burrows dug into the wet ground, with submerged entrances and the central lair soupy with mud. i still like this, but i like the beaver dam idea more, so i think i will combine them.

how about: black dragons dig a mud burrow when they’re small enough to need to hide, and live like salamanders or frogs. but as they get bigger, they start reinforcing the burrow with branches, then logs, as they expand it. piling brush and mud on top, maybe constructing mazelike branch tunnels to stash both food and treasure.

imagine raiding such a lair, chest deep in mud, slimy moss-hung branches spiking out of the walls. the reek of the dragon’s larder choking you. you’ve already killed the adult dragon, but from somewhere in this soggy deathtrap, you can hear a sound like baby crocodiles…

Does this also imply that a black dragon might make a swampy area by damming up a river if it can’t find a suitable one?

Imagining a party being called in to relocate a dragon that dammed a local river, flooding surrounding fields and villages.

what a hook! i love it! dragons could be such a force for landscape rearrangement, but i’ve never actually seen that be the problem in a campaign.

(via oldearthcartography)

thecreaturecodex:

“Eccentric Jester” © London Workman, accessed at their ArtStation here

[This is one of many iterations of my “goth clown” persona, tailored to a low level game and with more emphasis on the clown. I created her for a freeform game run by @abominationimperatrix​, which we haven’t gone back to yet. I do hope to. The Harley Quinn influence is very much intentional.]

Mad Maddy Maddison
CR 3 CG Humanoid (dark folk)
Clad in mismatched and brightly colored jester’s motley, this tiny woman is thin, muscular and pretty. At first glance she might appear to be wearing stage makeup, but her gray skin and black lips are their natural color.

Mad Maddy Maddison has had a very complicated and strange life already in her nineteen years, and is excited to see what happens next. She was born to a clan of dark folk living in the Darklands beneath the Brazen Peaks, and the caligni callers selected for her to be a dancer, one of the dark folk who act as intermediaries between settlements. Unfortunately, that meant that her wanderlust started at a very early age, and she managed to get separated from her family. She was found and given a home, but unfortunately it was by Mater Cachinnarum, the Mother of Sneers. This wicked bogeywoman pops up in nightmares throughout eastern Garund, and tried to raise Maddy to do the same. Even though Maddy was raised by Cachinnarum for a solid decade, she held true to her overall sense of kindness and good humor, and escaped by the grace of Cayden Cailean, who has a soft spot for all orphans and runaways.

Maddy made it to the bustling city of Katapesh where she currently works at the Night Circus, an entertainment troupe in the Night Markets. At the Circus, she is a talented juggler, percussionist, clown and occasional pickpocket. Her favored instruments are the zills. Maddy has a fascination with death and the undead, having been surrounded by ghouls and skeletons in Mater Cachinnarum’s care, and she is learning how to affect them with her magical music. She’s also working on making friends, something she’s never had a lot of. Her closest friend is a flumph named Taktii, who has given dire warnings about monsters in space. Maddy currently finds this concept more intriguing than scary.

Maddy stands a whole two and a half feet tall and carries a club as long as she is tall. She has a caffeine addiction, and rarely goes a day without several cups of coffee.

Keep reading

dungeonmalcontent:

asteroidtroglodyte:

A Magical Taxonomy

Warlock: from wær (old English, “pact/oath”) + loga (proto-Germanic, “liar”) + hard “-ck” (Scottish English); Oathbreaker (contextually; breaker of Baptismal Oaths; hence also Apostate)

Wizard: from Wis (old English, “knowledgeable”) + -ard (same, “too much of”); Possessor of too much knowledge

Witch: from weyk (proto-indo-European, “apart, separated, different”)[connotations akin to Latin’s “Sacre”]; Sacred Outsider

Sorcerer: from Sors (Latin, “Fate”) and Ser (same,“to bind”); Fate Manipulator

Druid: from dru (proto-Celtic, “Oak”) + weyd (same, “to see”); Oak-Seer, or Tree-Knower

Cleric: from kleros (Ancient Greek, “lots/ casting lots/ drawing lots”) [contextually; public servants were selected by drawing lots, as opposed to, say, voting]; Public Servant / Clerk

Bard: from bard (proto-Celtic, “Bard”); Bard

Bard is bard.

jewishevelinebaker:

greelin:

greelin:

greelin:

if i was a court jester i’d flirt with the king at any given opportunity. subtle at first but if he was interested and we’d share banter then i’d sit in his lap. then he would say i’m the funniest silliest little man alive and kiss me with tongue

how could he NOT fall in love with me though like i am literally there making him giggle, daily. a grown man covered in gold and he is just laughing at my stupid little jokes. i have that bastard wrapped around my finger. He knows it

all part of the plan

(via legaylos)

teaboot:

yourscreechingruinscollector:

helloitsbees:

medusasstory:

sandersstudies:

sandersstudies:

sandersstudies:

sandersstudies:

Lying to children is fun when they know you are being ridiculous. When you hold up a carrot like “guys look at this huge Cheeto” and they all scream “NOOOOOOOOO that’s a CARE-OTT!”

“What? No, it’s my giant Cheeto.”

“NOOOOOOO!”

When I was a camp counselor a fellow counselor claimed that any silly camp song we sang was “his next hit single” and we should all follow him on SoundCloud and he stuck by this daily and it never ceased to amuse both the adults and the children.

When children are small and learning to count and you say the numbers out of order? Peak comedy.

“How many toys are there? Let’s see… oneeee, twooo, six!”

“NO! One two three!”

“What? Are you sure? Let me try again. One, two… six?”

“Noooooo!”

Once reduced a toddler into a fit of giggles by singing “A B C D E F Q.”

Tags from @windyvalleyzone

on Halloween at the store i work at there was a little boy in a Batman costume, and as I was helping his mom I kept addressing him as Mr. Superman and Mr. Aquaman & he kept correcting me, “noooo, BATMAN” until they were leaving and he very seriously told me, “actully, I’m Ryan”

@wearepaladin

my favourite thing to do when a small child hands me a random object with no clear intent is to answer it like a cell phone. Gets em every time

(via eternally-tired-cryptid)

lionofchaeronea:

Centaur at the Village Blacksmith, Arnold Böcklin, 1888

(via inneskeeper)